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Angielskie dowcipy / Body Parts

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The Bobbitt Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray my penis I will keep, And if I wake and it is gone, I hope to find it on the lawn. I hope the dog that's running free, Doesn't see that little part of me, Many precautions I must take, To keep this part I love to... [cały ->]

The boy on a nude beach

Two parents take their son on vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. He comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" Th... [cały ->]

The elephant's trunk transplant

Jack goes to the doctor and says "Doc I'm having trouble getting my penis erect, can you help me?" After a complete examination the doctor tells Jack, "Well the problem with you is that the muscles around the base of your penis are damaged. There'... [cały ->]

The long and short of it!

A white guy is being shipped off to Jamaica for a year with the army. His fiance, Wendy, is really worried about her man being unfaithful, so she asks him to tattoo her name to his penis...He agrees, and does so. When his penis isn't erect you c... [cały ->]

The New Tax Law

The only thing that the IRS has not yet taxed is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemlpoyed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On t... [cały ->]

The Rubdown

A hospital patient, recovering from minor surgery, was being given an alcohol rubdown by two of the hospital's more attractive nurses. While manipulating the man's body they noted that the word "tiny" was tattooed on the head of his penis. Some... [cały ->]

The Splice

A man went to a doctor to have his penis enlarged. Well, this particular procedure involved splicing a baby elephant's trunk onto the man's penis. Overjoyed, the man went out with his best girl to a very fancy restaurant. After cocktails, the man'... [cały ->]

The undressing newlyweds

Two newlyweds went on their honeymoon and were getting undressed together for the first time. He took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored. "What happened to you feet?" his wife asked. "I had a childhood disease ca... [cały ->]

The Wish.....

There was this boy that lived with his mother. One night the boy woke up and went to the restroom and on his way he passed his mothers room and looked in and saw his mom rubbing her breasts and saying" I NEED A MAN". Then he went to bed. The ne... [cały ->]

Three Girls

There were three girls in a bar. One girl says... "I can get a whole hand up my cunt!" Then the second girl says "well, I can get a whole foot up mine!" Finally, the other girl says "I don't mean to brag, but could you help me off this stool!"... [cały ->]

Tip of the iceberg

A traveling salesman checked into a futuristic motel. Realizing he needed a haircut before his next day's meeting, he called down to "I'm afraid not, sir," the clerk told him, "but down the hall is a special machine that should serve your purposes." ... [cały ->]

Wanting a larger...

Once there was this guy, lets call him Fred, who had a very small penis. Poor Fred thought if only he had larger equipment then maybe the chicks would like him more. One day Fred went into the mens room and a very short man dressed in green was st... [cały ->]

We're Rangers!

True story: A friend's mom was driving in Canada. She was going through a park area. She sped up. Suddenly, she was pulled over by a park ranger. She decided to see if she could be cute and get herself out of a speeding ticket. When the officer appo... [cały ->]

Will you marry me?

There is this guy who has a 25 inch dick. He goes to a witch in the woods and asks her if she can make his dick smaller because he just can't please the ladies because it is just too big, he hasn't found a lady yet who likes it and he can't get any p... [cały ->]

Wooden Leg

Harry was delighted when he found a young woman who accepted his proposal of marriage as he was sensitive about his wooden leg and a bit afraid no one would have him. In fact, he couldn`t bring himself to tell his fiancee` about his leg when he slipp... [cały ->]

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