Angielskie dowcipy / Body Parts

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Ode To A Mammogram

For years 'n years they told me, "Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them, And give them monthly tests." So I heeded all their warnings And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully, An always wore a bra. Af... [ca³y ->]

Old man from Trent - Limmerick

There once was an old man from Trent, Whose penis was crooked and bent, And so to save trouble, He put it in double, And instead of coming, he went!... [ca³y ->]

OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!

A couple hobbled into a Washington (state) emergency room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The man had his around his waist, and the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors that they had gone out that evening for a... [ca³y ->]

Penis Tax

New IRS Tax Policy GOVERNMENT NOTICE January 1, 1995 To: All Male Taxpayers From: IRS RE: Notice of Increase in Tax Payment Form 1040P The only thing the IRS has not yet taxed is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it... [ca³y ->]

Photo From Nudist

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives is a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the ... [ca³y ->]

Rectum Wins

One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge. The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge." The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of yo... [ca³y ->]

Request for a raise

The male sexual organ requests a promotion and a raise for the following reasons: - has to work hard; - has to work at great depths; - has to work upside down; - has no ventilation or air conditioned environment at work; - has to work in ... [ca³y ->]

Scooby Doobie Boobies!

A flat-chested young lady goes to Dr. Smith for advice about breast enlargements. He tells her, "Every day when you get out of the shower, rub the top of your breasts and say, '"Scooby dooby doobies, I want bigger boobies.'" She did this every... [ca³y ->]

Secret

This guy walks into a bar and two steps in realizes it's a gay bar, but decides, "What the heck, I really want a drink." When the gay waiter approaches he says to the guy, "What's the name of your penis?" Guy: Look, I'm not into any of that. All... [ca³y ->]

Sex Statistics

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interes... [ca³y ->]

Small...

True story: About a week ago, I broke my ankle (in three places) and was in the hospital for several days. My first night in the hospital, after having surgery to rejoin my bones with pins and plates and such, I was in a great deal of pain and qui... [ca³y ->]

Sunburnt Manhood

A certain young man finally got a date with a female of somewhat questionable morals that lived in his apartment complex. To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. Not wanting... [ca³y ->]

Tattoo On Her Butt

There once was a service man who toured the Middle East and married a beautiful little China doll. He brought her back to the States and they were very happy. He always enjoyed looking at her rear end and telling her what a beautiful butt she h... [ca³y ->]

The Bobbit Hillbillies

Sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies" Come and listen to my story of a man named John, A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone. It seems one night after gettin' with his wife, She lopped off his schlong with the swipe of a knife. ... [ca³y ->]

The Bobbit Hillbillies

Sung to the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies" Come and listen to my story 'bout a man named John, A poor ex-marine with little fraction gone, It seems one night after gettin' with the wife, She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife. Pe... [ca³y ->]

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