jokes.laminatory.waw.pl

Angielskie dowcipy / Work/School

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Turkey and the Bull...

Chatting with a bull, a turkey sighed and said, "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." T... [cały ->]

What A Party!

After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and asked his wife, "What the hell happened?" "As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss," replied the wife. "Piss on him," answered ... [cały ->]

What Gets Bigger?

Mr. Perkins, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior college, said during class, "Miss Smythe, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define... [cały ->]

Who's The Boss?

When the Lord made Man, all the parts of the body argued over who would be the Boss. The Brain explained that since he controlled all the parts of the body, he should be Boss. The Legs argued that since they took the Man wherever he wanted to g... [cały ->]

A Train and a Teacher?

What's the difference between a Train and Teacher? A train says, "Chew, Chew!" and a Teacher says, "Spit the gum out!"... [cały ->]

Aggies

Do you know why the Texas Aggies use artificial turf in their football stadium? It helps stop their cheerleaders from grazing!... [cały ->]

Driving Examiner

Liz: I get so nervous and frightened during driving tests! Doctor: Never mind, you'll pass eventually. Liz: But I'm the examiner!... [cały ->]

Give 100%

ALWAYS GIVE 100% AT WORK: 12% Monday 23% Tuesday 40% Wednesday 20% Thursday 5% Friday... [cały ->]

Mail carriers.

What kind of drugs are mail carriers not tested for? SPEED!... [cały ->]

Maths?

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil...... [cały ->]

Pain Relief

A man walks in for a sale rep job. He is very qualitfied, but he has a nervous twitch, and his left eye is always winking. So he speaks with the manager and the manager says, "Well sir, you are very well qualified for the job, but people have to ... [cały ->]

Signs

Sign on a brake repair shop in Joliet, Illinois, "We stand in front of our work." Sign on a muffler shop in Santa Cruz, "We're the Nobody that Midas brags about."... [cały ->]

Some shorties...one rude

Q: Why did Smokey the Bear never have any children? A: When his wife got hot, he beat her with a shovel. Q: Why don't they let government workers look out the window in the morning? A: So they will have something to do in the afternoon. A... [cały ->]

Tea Time

Something to ponder... Do the workers at the Lipton factory get a coffee break?... [cały ->]

U of Berkeley Products

There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX This is not believed to be a coincidence.... [cały ->]

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