jokes.laminatory.waw.pl

Angielskie dowcipy / Work/School

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Overheard In Airplane

The huge Air Canada Jumbo jet is just coming into Pearson Airport (Toronto) on its final approach. The pilot comes on over the intercom. "This is Capt. Johnson, we're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today and... [cały ->]

Pick your sport carefully.

After a two year long study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on corporate America's recreation preferences. 1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: Basketball. 2. The sport of choice for... [cały ->]

Preschoolers learn meat

A preschool teacher thought it would be interesting for her students to learn to identify different names for the various kinds of meats. One day, she cooked up several different meats and labeled them. As each student took a bite they were asked to ... [cały ->]

Research paper excuses!

A college professor had just finished explaining how important it was that a research project be turned in on time. He said there were only two acceptable excuses for late projects: 1) A certified medical excuse 2) A death in the student's immedi... [cały ->]

S.H.I.T (Special High Intensity Traning)

Special High Intensity Training - S.H.I.T. MEMORANDUM TO: All Employees FROM: Communications Services SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING In order to assure that we continue to produce the highest quality work possible, it will be our... [cały ->]

Shiny New Motorcycle

An engineering student is walking on campus one day, when another engineer student rides up on a shiny new motorcycle. "Where did you get such a functional bike?" asked the first. The second engineer replied: "Well, I was walking along yesterda... [cały ->]

Smart little johnny

One day the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday. On the first Friday the teacher as... [cały ->]

Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.)

TO : ALL EMPLOYEES FR : MANAGEMENT SUBJECT : SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well-trained through out progr... [cały ->]

Sweet Revenge

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket -- If he could just get to the airport then could get himself home. S... [cały ->]

Talk like an adult!

The Grade 2 pupils returned to class after the long weekend. Their teacher told them to tell their classmates about the most exciting thing they did during the weekend, but to use adult words in telling their stories. First Pupil: "I visited my Na... [cały ->]

The Layoff

The vice-president of a local company had quite a problem. He was told by his boss to lay off one of his employees, either Mary or Jack. His choice was a tough one because Mary had been a devoted employee for 10 years and Jack was a fine worker w... [cały ->]

The morning after

Bob woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee... [cały ->]

The Unhappy Nun

The contemplative routine of the convent was being disrupted by the presence of workmen converting the electrical service from overhead lines to buried cable. Mother Superior called the electric company's complaint department to ask for help. "The... [cały ->]

To Be a Dog

An eminent teacher and thinker once expressed his philosophy of life: "When it all boils done to the essence of truth," the philosopher said, "one must live by a dog's rule of life": "If you can't eat it or fuck it...PISS ON IT!"... [cały ->]

Traveling Saleman.

Mr. Jones, upon returning from a business trip was shocked to find his wife in bed with a stranger. The nude stranger was sprawled over the bed asleep. "You rotten bastard!" yelled the husband..."I'm going to kill you!" "Wait!, said Mrs. Jones"... [cały ->]

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