jokes.laminatory.waw.pl

Angielskie dowcipy / The Elderly

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Spinster's Three Wishes

The old spinster was rocking on her front porch with her tomcat at her feet, when a good fairy suddenly appeared before her and offered her three wishes. "Aw, go on," the little old lady said in disbelief, "if you can grant three wishes, let's see... [cały ->]

Suppository In Her Ear

A rather senile old lady went to her doctor complaining of draining and a feeling of fullness in her ear. After the examination, the doctor initiated a conversation that went as follows: D: Why madam, I think you have a suppository in your ear. L... [cały ->]

Talking Frog

My 75 year old Dad was taking his daily walk through the park when he heard a tiny voice calling to him. "Hey, mister! Pssst, mister!" Dad looked all around, and spotted a little frog sitting in the grass looking up at him. "Hey mister," said the ... [cały ->]

The Cremation

Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down next to the grieving widow. "How old was your husband?" he asked. "He was ninety-eight," she answered softly. "Two years older than I am." "Really?" the undertaker said. "Hardly wor... [cały ->]

The Name is Rose

It seems that this old couple are having trouble remembering things, so they sign up for a memory course. The course is wonderful; they come home and tell all their relatives, friends, and neighbors about it. Some months later, a neighbor approaches ... [cały ->]

The nursing home

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leave her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely... [cały ->]

The Old Drunk

Neighbors had complained to the mayor about the noisy pub on the corner of 3rd & Lambourne. Seems that the old cronies got together every friday & saturday, played cards, drank beer, told lies and jokes until 2am Saturday morning, when the pub had to... [cały ->]

The Old Lady & the Cashier

A little old lady went to the grocery store & put the most expensive cat food in her basket. She then went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl, "Nothing but the best for my little kitten on Christmas." The girl at the cash r... [cały ->]

The stir of the town!

It was the stir of the town when an 80 year old man married a 20 year old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow saying, "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" He answered... [cały ->]

To be young again...

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park, the ... [cały ->]

Two Elderly Ladies

Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage fo... [cały ->]

What's in a name anyway

Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting in that park every sunny day, for over 12 years...chatting, and enjoying each others friendship. One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to th... [cały ->]

Where's my heart?

Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out... [cały ->]

Wrinke Removal

An old man of 87 went to the hospital to get a radical new surgical procedure done where they stretch the skin and pull all the wrinkles up onto the top of the scalp making you appear years younger. On his way out of the hospital, he met an old fr... [cały ->]

Years of Bad Sex

A man and his wife of more than 50 years were rocking back and forth on the front porch. Slowly they rocked in rhythm, as this was their time to spend a few quiet moments and after years of practice they rocked to the same pace. Suddenly the wife ... [cały ->]

najlepsze angielskie dowcipy