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Angielskie dowcipy / The Elderly

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Having a baby at 80

An 80-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. "I've never been better!" he replies. "I've got an 18-year-old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?" The doctor considers thi... [cały ->]

How Deaf?

A man is talking to the family doctor. "Doc, I think my wife's going deaf." The doctor answers, "Well, here's something you can try on her to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn't answer, move a li... [cały ->]

I can hear clearly now...

Dave: I got this great new hearing aid the other day. Mary: Are you wearing it now? Dave: Yup. Cost me four thousand dollars, but it's top of the line. Mary: Wow! What kind is it? Dave: Twelve-thirty.... [cały ->]

In the graveyard!

An old man and old woman had been married for about 52 years when one day the old woman died. The entire family showed up to the funeral. Every day after the funeral the old man would show up at the grave with his dog and spend a few minutes out t... [cały ->]

Just a memory!

Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting in that park every sunny day, for over 12 years, chatting and enjoying each others friendship. One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to t... [cały ->]

Knit to Fit

An old lady was knitting as she was driving down the highway. A police officer drove alongside her car and yelled, "Pull over!" The lady yelled back, "No - mittens!"... [cały ->]

Left and Right

Once upon a time there was an elderly gentleman who was suffering from Alzheimer's. His wife of 40 years loved him very much, but she couldn't handle him any longer. He would wander about never knowing where he was or sometimes even who he was. She t... [cały ->]

Letter from grandma

One day I recieved a letter from grandma... The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performa... [cały ->]

Name That Restaurant!

A couple of senior couples were strolling along, wives in front, husbands in back chatting. Bernie turns to Marv and says,"Ya know, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Great prices, too." Marv smiles and says, "Well,... [cały ->]

Needs Ironing

A man and his wife were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary at the same hotel in the same room where they spent their wedding night. In honor of the occasion, she bought a $400.00 silk see-through negligee. After taking off her clothes in t... [cały ->]

Old Timers Disease

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich." T... [cały ->]

Reasoning Test

Three elderly ladies were at the doctor for a cognitive reasoning test. The doctor says to the first gal, "What is three times three?" "297," was her prompt reply. "Ummm humm," says the doc. The doctor says to the second lady, "It's your turn... [cały ->]

Senior Driver

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!" "Hell," said... [cały ->]

Senior's Thoughts (Classic)

What are seniors worth anyway? They are worth a fortune, with all the silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys and lead in their feet. Well I have become a little older since I saw you last and a few changes have come int... [cały ->]

Sleep Better

An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth control pills." Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 75 ye... [cały ->]

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