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Angielskie dowcipy / The Elderly

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Get A Boarder

There was this eighty-year-old man who was seeing the doctor for a checkup. The doctor asked why he needed the checkup. The man was getting married next month to a girl 60 years his junior. The doctor tried to talk him out of the marriage, and it did... [cały ->]

Finding A Penis

There was a little old man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror and was admiring his body when he noticed that he was suntanned over his entire body with the excepti... [cały ->]

Crushed Nuts?

This old guy wobbles into an ice cream shop. He has a hard time walking. He is hunched over. He goes up to the counter and says, "Banana Split, please." The lady at the counter replies, "Crushed nuts?" The old man says, "No, Arthritis!"... [cały ->]

Condoms for My Camels

There was an old lady who heard you could keep cigarettes dry at the beach by stuffing the pack into a condom. She stopped into the pharmacy to pick some up. The pharmacist said, "What brand of condoms to you prefer ma'am." She said, "I'm not s... [cały ->]

By My Side

Harry is on his death bed, his wife Zelda is by his side: "Zelda, you've always been by my side" "When I broke my leg at 25; you were by my side" "When I had my first heart attack at 45; you were by my side" "When I had my second heart attack a... [cały ->]

Before Viagra

One day, Jimmy is walking home from school. When he gets home, he finds his grandpa sitting on the Porch without any pants on! So he goes up to his grandpa and says "Grandpa, do you realize that you're not wearing any pants?" His grandpa replies ... [cały ->]

Adjustable Face Lift

This women of forty, being a rather vain person, decided she needed a face lift. With her pocketbook as large as her ego, she went to several plastic surgeons before choosing the best money could buy. The doctor assured her that he could make her ... [cały ->]

3 Old-Timers...

Three men were discussing aging on the steps of the nursing home. "Sixty is the worst age to be," announced the 60 year old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!" "Ah, that... [cały ->]

A Smart Man!

A foursome of senior golfers hit the course with waning enthusiasm for the sport. "These hills are getting steeper as the years go by," one complained. "These fairways seem to be getting longer too," said one of the others. "The sand traps s... [cały ->]

After You

My phone bill was past due and I needed to change my service, so I had to visit the local Bell Atlantic Office. The line wasn't clearly formed, and there was an old man with a cane nearby me. I wasn't really sure who was next and when we got to t... [cały ->]

Aged Mother

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says "not yet." A little later they ask to ... [cały ->]

Almost Love

A 70-year-old man has never been married. One day, he meets a beautiful 17-year-old girl, and it is love at first sight. They get married and go to Florida for their honeymoon. When they get back, his friend says to him, "So, tell me, how was it?"... [cały ->]

Auto Light

A doctor is making a routine call to one of his elderly patients. He asks, "And how are you doing today, Mr. Johnson?" Mr. Johnson replies, "I feel just fine, doc. But you know, it's the strangest thing. Every night when I get up to pee, the bath... [cały ->]

Better Late Than Never?........

Ninety-four-year-old Mrs. Hatcher showed up at her lawyer's office one Monday morning. "I want you to begin divorce proceedings," she announced. The lawyer was aghast. When he regained his composure, he said, "Mrs. Hatcher, you and your husban... [cały ->]

Boxers or Briefs?

One day some guys were doing a survey "boxers" or "briefs". They went to a 25 year old man and said "boxers" or "briefs"? He said briefs. They went to a 40 year old man and said "boxers" or "briefs"? He said boxers. Then they went up to a ... [cały ->]

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