jokes.laminatory.waw.pl

Angielskie dowcipy / The Elderly

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The Facelift

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the result. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking... [cały ->]

The Honeymoon

The old couple were planning to go on a second honeymoon for their 50th wedding anniversary. The old woman said, "We will go to all the same places that we did on our first honeymoon." "Uh huh," said the old man. "We will do all the things tha... [cały ->]

The Miracle Show...

An old couple were sitting in their living room on a Sunday morning watching a religious program. The preacher on this show would go to all the people in the audience and asking them what they wanted fixed, then he would have them cover the part o... [cały ->]

The Missing Toupee!

On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised. While the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in his ear, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!" The driver didn't think much o... [cały ->]

The old lady in the bank

A little old lady walked into the head branch of the Chase Manhattan Bank holding a large paper bag in her hand. She told the young man at the window that she wished to take the 3 million she had in the bag and open an account with the bank. She said... [cały ->]

The Witch

Two old guys, like 80 yrs. old, went to a whore house and told the woman at the door that they wanted the two most beautiful whores. The woman was like, they're old, what are they gonna know. So she sticks them in the two darkest rooms with blow-u... [cały ->]

The worm hole!

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves when the little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather smiles. "I'll bet you five dollars you can... [cały ->]

Three Times?

An old man of 70 married a young girl of 18. When they got into bed the night after the wedding, he held up three fingers. "Oh honey," said the young nymph, "Does that mean we're going to do it three times?" "No," said the old man, "it means yo... [cały ->]

Try this on honey!

A man goes to Frederick's of Hollywood. He wants to buy his wife the most sheer lingerie he can find. The woman behind the counter goes and gets an outfit. "This is $200," she says. "I want one that's more sheer," says he. "This one is $350." "... [cały ->]

Two Little Old Ladies

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke. Her friend saw ... [cały ->]

Up, or down?

There was an elderly couple that was on their way for a 2 week vacation on a carribean cruise. The wife, unfortunately, forgot her hearing aides at home... Upon arriving to the cabin that was to be theirs during the trip, they noticed that it had ... [cały ->]

Grandpa gets exited!

Grandpa is running around in the nursing home with his privates hanging out of his pants screaming : "My penis just died, my penis just died!" The nurses calm him down,and he goes back to his room. The next day, grandpa is running around again w... [cały ->]

Grandma's Advice

There was this virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it. So, the grandmother says sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try to kiss you, you are going to like that b... [cały ->]

Get Rich Quick

A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick. So, she proceeded to find herself a rich 73 year old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the ha... [cały ->]

Get Me Out!

There was an old man whom, though loved by his son, was being put into an old-folks home because the son could not provide the round-the-clock care the old man required. "Don't leave me here to die alone here!" the old man said, when the day final... [cały ->]

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