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Angielskie dowcipy / The Elderly

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No cookies for Grandpa

A boy goes on a fishing trip with his grandpa. They install themselves on the river bank and have brought with them all the provisions they need for a fine day's fishing. After a while, grandpa lights a cigarette. The boy gazes on. He knows his pa... [cały ->]

No Pantyhose

There's this old man in a nursing home and he's hornier than hell. So he sees this cute nurse and says, "How about a quickie for twenty bucks?" She agrees and gets on top of him. They go at it for about ten minutes. After the act, the old man says... [cały ->]

Old vs. Young!

An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came over and sat down beside him. The boy's hair was yellow, green, orange and purple. He had black makeup around his eyes. The old man just stared at him. The bo... [cały ->]

On the Beach

There is this guy who really takes care of his body. He lifts weights and jogs six miles every day. One morning he looks into the mirror and admires his body and notices that he is suntanned all over with the one exception of his penis, which he ... [cały ->]

On the porch

Two elderlies are rocking on the porch at the home. "Bet you can't guess how old I am," he says. "Bet I can," she says. "Bet you fifty dollars you can't tell me how old I am," he says. "You're on," she says. "Stand up." He stands up. She looks him... [cały ->]

Rotten Cherry

There is an 80 year old virgin who suddenly gets an itch in her crotch area. She goes to the doctor who checks her out and tells her she has crabs. She explained that she couldn't have crabs because she was a virgin, but the doctor didn't believe her... [cały ->]

Saving Up

This old geezer of 78 marries a girl of 18. The morning after the wedding night, the girl comes down with a pained expression on her face. "What's the matter, dear?" asks the woman at the front desk. "Well," sniffed the girl, "He told me he'd b... [cały ->]

Sex drive is too high

A feeble old man is in his doctor's office having a check-up. The doctor finishes the check-up says to the man, "So, you seem in fine health. Any problems?" "Yes, Doc," the old man slowly responded. "My sex drive is too high and I need it lowered.... [cały ->]

Sexercises

An older couple were having trouble with their sex life, so the wife went to a sex therapist and was advised to try sexercises. He gave the wife a list of them to do each day. Later that night as the couple were getting ready for bed, the husband ... [cały ->]

Social Security

A man came home from the Social Security Office. 'Honey,' he said to his wife, 'I finally convinced them that I'm old enough to collect Social Security.' 'How?' his wife asked. 'Since the department of records in the small town you were born in wa... [cały ->]

Spell Ice Cream

This little old lady walks into an ice cream parlor and asks for 2 scoops of chocolate ice cream. The man behind the counter says 'I'm sorry, we are all out of chocolate ice cream'. The lady says 'OK, I'll take one scoop of chocolate ice cream in ... [cały ->]

Spicy 50th Honeymoon

For their golden anniversary, a couple decides to repeat their honeymoon trip. They drive to the Poconos and find the same romantic lodge is still there. A vibrant young couple, clearly very much in love, is checking in when they arrive. The husba... [cały ->]

Sunbathing

A wealthy young Wall Street stockbroker was admiring his physique nude before the mirror one day. The picture was perfectly toned and buffed except for the lack of a tan. So, he flew to California for the weekend to get a tan. Back in his luxuriou... [cały ->]

That Rubber Thingy...

An old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat. As the bus shakes and rattles, the old man's cane slips on the floor and he falls down. As he gets up, a seven-year-old kid, sitting nearby, turns to him and says, "If you put a litt... [cały ->]

The Dirty Old Man...

An old man was on the beach and walked up to a beautiful girl in a bikini - "I want to feel your breasts" he exclaimed. "Get away from me, you crazy old man" she replied. "I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars," he says. "... [cały ->]

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