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Angielskie dowcipy / The Elderly

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Two Old Ladies

Do you know what the height of hard upfullness is? Two old ladies in an asparagus patch doing knee bends!... [cały ->]

Viagra

Q: Why do they give Viagra to elderly men in old people's homes? A: To stop them from rolling out of bed.... [cały ->]

Young Man!

Three old ladies went for a walk in the park, they were suddenly approached by a man who flashed at them, two of them had a stroke - the third wasn't quick enough..... [cały ->]

An old man and women are going out for a meal to celebrate there 50th anniversary.The old man is getting ready but cant find his shoes so he looks under the bed and finds a box with 2 eggs in it and a thousand pounds so that evening he questions his ... [cały ->]

Grandpa is fine

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandfather in the hospital. "How are you grandpa?" he asks. "Feeling fine," says the old man. "What's the food like?" "Terrific, wonderful menus." "And the nursing?" "Just couldn't be better. These young... [cały ->]

Happy Anniversary

A man and his wife were at the breakfast table when he suddenly remembered that it was their 50th Anniversary. "Guess what, darling," he said, "Fifty years ago today you and I were wed." "And we ate our first honeymoon breakfast at this very ta... [cały ->]

Job well done!

A man and woman were celebrating their 50 year anniversary. That night, the woman comes out of the bathroom completely naked and looks at her husband who is already in bed. She says, "Honey, 50 years ago tonight, when I came out of the bathroom with ... [cały ->]

Joggers

A nude jogger was running past two old women. One had a stroke, the other missed!... [cały ->]

Keep the Motor Running

It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" He answere... [cały ->]

Kiss Me The Way You Used To

A couple were in bed after celebrating their golden anniversary. The wife Said, "Darling, embrace me the way you used to when we first got Married." He did. "Now kiss me the way you used to..." "Now darling, bite me the way you used to." At ... [cały ->]

Leave a Specimen

This 82-year-old man married a 22-year-old woman and they decided that they wanted to have kids. So after trying for a while with no success, he went to see the urologist, pretty discouraged. The urologist said not to get discouraged and that they co... [cały ->]

Let Me See

A 90-year old man announces his intention to marry a woman of 30. He is persuaded to have a medical exam first. "Everyone tells me I need a checkup to see if I'm sexually fit," he says to the doctor. "Okay," says the medic, "let me see your sex... [cały ->]

Looking forward to old age

There were three elderly men sitting in wheelchairs on the porch one sunny afternoon. They were ten years apart in ages. One was 60, another 70 and the last 80 years old. The 60 yo, started complaining. He said "I wish I could just piss all at on... [cały ->]

Loving it up at 85!

At 85 years of age, a somewhat senile Morris marries Luanne, a lovely 25-year-old. Because her new husband is so old, Luanne decides that on their wedding night, she and Morris should have separate bedrooms. The newlywed is concerned that her new ... [cały ->]

Low Sex Drive

An extremely old man visits his doctor and tells him, "I need my sex drive lowered." The doctor, incredulous, says, "What?? You want your sex drive _lowered_??" To which the old man replies, "It's all in my head; I need it LOWERED!"... [cały ->]

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