jokes.laminatory.waw.pl

Angielskie dowcipy / Rude

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Bouncing Baby

A young mother had just given birth to a newborn baby and the nurse was congratulating her when the doctor came in bouncing the baby from hand to hand like a basketball. "Here's your baby, maam" says the doctor. The doctor then throws the baby ... [cały ->]

Dirty Dishes!

A priest was asked to dinner by one of his parishioners. When he sat down at the table, he noticed that the dishes were the dirtiest that he had ever seen in his life. "Were these dishes ever washed?" he asked his hostess, running his fingers ... [cały ->]

Good/Bad Car Accident

Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help ea... [cały ->]

Leper at the World Series

A guy with leprosy wins tickets to see the world series. But when he gets there, he has trouble finding a seat because pieces of him are peeling and flaking off, and he's very concerned about grossing out the other fans. The leper wanders throug... [cały ->]

Money for panites

There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that this girl is not wearing any panties. The Priest calls the girl and gives her $20 and says, "Little girl, take this money and buy... [cały ->]

Only A Head

Nine months to the day following their wedding, the Coopers had a baby. Unfortunately, it was born without arms or legs -- without even a torso. It was just a head. Still, the Coopers loved and cared for their child, spoiling and indulging it. Fin... [cały ->]

Santa in Ethiopia

Once Santa Claus went to Ethiopia, to give the children some words of confort. He was there, with all those bony kids all around, and then they started yelling: "WE WANT TOYS!! WE WANT TOYS!!!" But then Santa, remembering his important job of o... [cały ->]

The Bowl of Chili

Well, there was this truck driver that had been driving all day and hadn't stopped for lunch or anything and he was getting REAL hungry. He sees this diner and pulls in, walks up to the counter and sits down by this old biker who was staring at a ste... [cały ->]

The Cruise!

An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her. So the captain sent th... [cały ->]

The Pepsi plane crash...

There was a cargo shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa. It suddenly had a malfunction, and crashed in the jungle. A few days later, Pepsi sent a rescue plane to search for the plane and crew. They found the wreckage, but were not able to locate ... [cały ->]

The Vet Delivers

There was a country doctor who was the only doctor for miles around. He wanted to go on a fishing trip so he called the vet and asked him to look after things while he was gone. The vet asked, "Is anything happening?" The doctor replied, "Mrs. ... [cały ->]

The woman on the bus

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, "MAN, That is the ugliest baby I've EVER seen!" In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. She fumed for a few stops and starte... [cały ->]

37 Rude & Crude Pick-up Lines

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day. 2. Nice legs...what time do they open? 3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package. 4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more? 5. Can I buy you a dri... [cały ->]

Definitions

What's the definition of disgusting? Your giving your grandmother a kiss and she slips her tongue in. What's the definition of weird? Your having sex with a pregnant woman and something grabs your dick. What's the defintion of suspicious?... [cały ->]

Hellen Keller List

Q: Why does Helen Keller have a yellow leg? A: Her dog is blind also. Q: Did you know that Helen Keller had a doll house in the backyard? A: Neither did she. Q: Why could Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? A: She needed the other ha... [cały ->]

najlepsze angielskie dowcipy