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Angielskie dowcipy / Animals

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Tough Mice

There were three city mice sitting at a bar. The first mouse takes a shot of tequilla, slams the glass on the table and says, "I'm the toughest mouse in this city. I'm so tough that I walk throughout the house collecting mouse poison, return to my n... [cały ->]

Ventriloquist and the Indian

A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting on his porch. He figures he'll have a little fun... Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?" Indian: "Dog no talk." Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?" Dog: "Doin' alright... [cały ->]

Warning: Ignore the parrot!

On reaching his plane seat, a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks, "And get me a whisky, you cow!" The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the pa... [cały ->]

Whale of a Story

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan, when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Let's both swim u... [cały ->]

Smitty the Parrot's Birthday

Harry says to his pet parrot Smitty, "What do you want for your birthday?" Smitty says, "I want to get laid." So Harry takes Smitty to a parrot whore house, gives him a hundred bucks, and Smitty goes upstairs with a hot-looking parrot whore. Af... [cały ->]

Sex With Gorilla

A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very ornery, and difficult to handle. Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem: she was in heat. What to do? There was no... [cały ->]

Screwing Rooster

There was a farmer. He had alot of chickens but had no roosters. So in order to get eggs he went and got a rooster. The man he got the rooster form told him that the rooster would screw everything in sight. But the farmer wanted the rooster anywa... [cały ->]

Rubbit the Rabbit

A guy goes down south to be a farmer because it's his life long dream. So he buys a piece of land and goes down there. Now all he needs are the animals. So he goes into a store and asks the clerk for a rooster to wake him up every morning. The cle... [cały ->]

Red Riding Hood

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. "My what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf.", says Little Red Riding Hood. The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away!!! Further down the ro... [cały ->]

Rabbit and Bear

A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No, of course not!" So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit!... [cały ->]

Praying Parrots

A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but They only say "Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some FUN?'" "That's terrible!", the priest exclaimed, "Bring your two talk... [cały ->]

Pink Parts

One afternoon, there was this good witch who was flying along, when all of a sudden, she heard this soft crying from down below. When she landed, she saw this yellow frog. Touched by his sadness, the witch asked why he was crying. "Sniff. None of ... [cały ->]

No Sex on the Ark!

When the Ark's door was closed, Noah called a meeting with all the animals. "Listen up!" Noah said with a demanding voice. "There will be NO SEX on this trip! All of you males take off your penis and hand it in to my sons. I will sit over there and w... [cały ->]

Missy in heat

Angela went up to her mom and ask if she could take missy for a walk. Her mom said no, that missy was in heat. "What is heat?" Mom said go ask your Dad, he is outside working on car. Angela goes outside and ask her Dad if she can take missy f... [cały ->]

Miss Muffet

Little miss muffet... sat on her tuffet... eating her kurds and way. Along came a spider, who sat down beside her, and said: "hey, whats in the bowl bitch?!"... [cały ->]

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