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Losowe angielskie dowcipy

Thermometers

What is the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? The taste!... [cały ->]

Difference With Computer

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? A: You only have to punch information into a computer once!... [cały ->]

One day a man went hunting for ducks. When he was done he was going to his Chevy and he got a vist from The Game Warden. The Warden said "Hey Sir,what ya huntin?" The man said "Ducks." The Warden said "Did ya have any luck?" He said "Got 3." ... [cały ->]

The Bobbitt Hillbillies!

Ballad of the Bobbitt Hillbillies! Sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies: Here's a little story of a man named John A poor ex-marine with a little fraction gone It seems one night after gettin' with the wife She lopped off his schlong wi... [cały ->]

Standing Still

During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could... [cały ->]

Great Thinkers of Our Time?

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I woul... [cały ->]

Cannibals and Politicians

A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu... Broiled Missionary: $25.00 Fried Explorer: $35.00 Baked Politician: $100.00. Th... [cały ->]

Window Seat

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane? A1: She'd just dyed her hair. A2: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.... [cały ->]

Another test

There was a blonde driving a ferrari. A cop pulls her over for speeding, the cop asks," can I see your license and registration please!" The blonde responds, "license and registration what is that?" The cop respnds," you will find your license ... [cały ->]

Relativity

Don't try to understand the theory of relativity. Relativity is like an erection - the more you think about it, the harder it gets.... [cały ->]

Yo Momma so nasty

Your momma so nasty she charges $10 for sex, gives ya lice, when ya come back to complain she says - "For $10 what do ya expect, lobster?... [cały ->]

Name That Restaurant!

A couple of senior couples were strolling along, wives in front, husbands in back chatting. Bernie turns to Marv and says,"Ya know, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Great prices, too." Marv smiles and says, "Well,... [cały ->]

The talking peanut

This guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. As he sits drinking, he notices a peanut jump out of the dish before him. The peanut proceeds to talk, 'hey there buddy,' it hollers, 'you're looking mighty fine tonight!' The guy can't believe what he i... [cały ->]

Burlesque Show

The kid ran out of the burlesque show. The doorman grabbed him and asked what is the matter. The kid said, "My Mama told me if I looked at anything bad I'd turn to stone.... and I can feel it starting!"... [cały ->]

Cold Politics

It was so cold outside, I saw a politicain that had his hands in his OWN pockets.... [cały ->]

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